1) Nugz is hiring! The interview process is two fold, first the applicants take the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory. It’s a standardized psychometric to create a psychodiagnostic algorithm. Then we fly them into remote campsites in the Alaskan Bush where our candidates are instructed to engage the unsuspecting campers in Tae Kwon Do and cut their hair in styles appropriate to their particular face shapes.
2) Negate everything that causes us to be dead while alive.
3) If you had three minutes to speak to random Panda Express employees and wanted to make the maximum impact what would you say?